PRESSED BETWEEN THE PAGES
Unwrapping a Sticky Situation
DeAnn (Wolkow) Kruempel
“We were so poor when I was a kid, when I got a piece of gum, I stuck it on my bedpost to save it for the next day!” A stranger close to my age ranted as she passed around a package of Orbit to her cronies who were chewing the fat after grabbing a bite at a city diner.
Frankly, I found her comment hard to swallow. I remember that gum was a treat; we
didn’t sink our teeth into the jaw-breaking, breath-freshening permanent pacifier every day. But we were never so nail-bitingly poor that we had to resort to headboard hiding. No, I am not biting on that one, although I do recall a couple fossilized masses stuck on the brown metal frame like gorilla glue. My sisters plead innocent, so I might as well bite the bullet and admit it was I! To avoid a gum-filled, sticky situation of hair-raising consequences, I likely deposited the ABC gum onto the bedpost. I recall an underclassman who tried nibbling through the night and ended up with a creative haircut. Back then that girl was up a gum tree; today her style would be all that and a pack of Chiclets.
Humans have felt the need to gnaw for thousands of years. Gum has a sappy history.
Ancient civilizations like the Mayans, Aztecs and Greeks chewed natural resins and birch bark tar. A similar ooey-gooey substance found in Sweden and Finland was believed to have antiseptic properties.
In the 1840s, the first gum bounced into the commercial market. Bitten by the bug,
Thomas Adams quickly came up with chicle, the sap of the sapodilla tree. He mass-marketed the gum, and like cows, humans could chew the cud. People flapped their gums and modern gum became a massive industry thanks to William Wrigley, Jr. who distributed free samples. Lucky for him, humans COULD walk and chew gum at the same time.
Baseball pitchers around the world threw extra curve balls when Walter Diemer
accidentally invented bubble gum! Not wanting to burst anyone’s bubble, he admitted that the only coloring he had on hand at the time was pink. Children of America tried to hide the gum on their faces after they unwrapped the love, dubbed Dubble Bubble. They did however, enjoy the snap, crackle and pop! Occasionally, a teacher had to chew them out for their sloppy slurping.
Today’s tonsil ticklers are different from the nickel packs of Juicy Fruit in the 60s. Black
Jack, Bazooka Joe, Freshen Up and Gatorgum have been replaced by Trident, Orbit and Extra. There are even all-natural chews like Tree Hugger and some that come with paper wraps to save the bedposts! No Gumshoe needed—gum gives us something to flap our jaws about.
Do you remember the song from the 60s about chewing gum losing its flavor on the
bedpost overnight? If you heard it, you will be singing it in your head. Think you can stop it? You are biting off more than you can chew. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
If your mother says don’t chew it – Do you swallow it in spite?
Can you catch it on your tonsils?; Can you heave it left & right?
Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
To whom it may concern: this story was written tongue-in-cheek. It may be held together
by a string and chewing gum, but it’s fun. Not top-secret, like the real fruit flavor of Juicy Fruit. Chew on that!
DeAnn Kruempel grew up on a farm near De Smet, SD, the sixth child of Harrison and Mabel Wolkow. She attended school at Erwin and De Smet. Married Vicar Robert Kruempel and lived in Benedict, ND, Toeterville, Akron and Missouri Valley IA. The author worked in school and public libraries for more than 30 years. She resides on an acreage near Logan, IA. Her column has run in a growing number of Midwest newspapers for five years. Each year the author has published the stories into a book. She has also published a historical fiction series, “Promises to Keep.” Her nine books are available on Amazon. Signed copies may be purchased at the Harrison County Welcome Center. Contact Kruempel at deannkruempelauthor@gmail.com.
